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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Not T-Rex

This may come as a shock to many people, but there were more dinosaurs than Tyrannosaurus, Triceratops, Stegosaurus, and those long-necked ones (and for goodness sake, pterodactyl was NOT a dinosaur). It’s true. You see, T-Rex was the hot, popular, talented, athletic girl (or guy) of Mesozoic High (their mascot was the Trojan, oddly enough). Everyone knew her and wanted to be her, date her, or burn her (or, him, etc.). But let’s not forget the other cast of characters. Who could forget that super-geek-turned-billionaire-by-30, Troodon. Or that star quarterback who secretly wrote poetry, Lusotitan. Or that super-annoying drama student, Therizinosaurus, who went from hall to hall gesticulating and quoting Mamet. I’m going to end this stupid metaphor now. But the point is, there are a lot of interesting yet relatively unheard-of dinosaurs out there just waiting for a walk-on role in a Spielberg movie. Sorry for that metaphor too.

Below a handful of the other (not T-Rex) big carnivorous dinosaurs;

Carnotaurus: This mid-Cretaceous carnivore grew to 25ft and weighed up to a ton. They were impressive, but also hilarious. You see, Carnotaurus had a short, yet tall head with horns over each eye. They also had stumpy arms…super stumpy arms. Carnotaurus arms make Tyrannosaur arms seem willowy by comparison. Plus their arms were fatter. They were still badass though. I mean, something with a name like “meat-eating bull” is going to be pretty badass.
 Allosaurus: I’m a fan of Allosaurus. Good old Al was a big player in the late Jurassic. This 45ft long theropod was widely distributed and is now one of the most well-studied dinosaurs. Allosaurus was smaller than a T-Rex, but still an apex predator. Its three-fingered arms were usable too! Plus it had a ridge-like crest in front of each eye, giving it a dash of exoticism, without the silliness of a flashier feature, like a sail on its back.
 Acrocanthosaurus: Speaking of things with sails on its back, Acrocanthosaurus was an early Cretaceous predator. I’m glad I wasn’t born in the early Cretaceous, because as soon as I would spot Acrocanthosaurus with its Allosaur-like body and thick fin down its back, I would laugh. Then I would be eaten. I just can’t take the sail-dinos seriously (Spinosaurus and I aren’t talking anymore).
 Megalosaurus: Megalosaurus was the first dinosaur to be discovered and properly (scientifically) studied. Because it was the first, it got the lamest name, which means “big lizard.” Personally, I think that name sucks. Another indignity this big lizard suffered was being the dumping ground of mistakenly-assigned Jurassic bones found in Europe. Fortunately, we haven’t been using this genus as a wastebasket in more recent years. You’re welcome, Megalosaurus. 
Updated Version
Victorian Version


  1. If I had a time travel machine I'd go back just to see if those predators with the tiny, tiny arms ever laid down. And if they did, how in the heck they ever got back up. They would have had to roost down like birds.

    Oh wait, now that chicken theory is floating around in my head...

  2. I love all the posts about dinosaurs. When I was little, my friends and I used to pretend we were the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. Oddly enough, nobody ever wanted to be a T-Rex! We all used to like the raptors lol.

  3. I want to own a chicken and call it Chickenasaurus Rex. And thanks, Megan! I used to want to be a raptor too. I love Utahraptor, they were pretty much the most awesome things ever.